hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
