Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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