god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
my phone needs a breathalizer
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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