is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
