I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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