Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
