my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
