If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
