There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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