I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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