i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
