just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
