Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
