she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
