the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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