sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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