Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
