I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
