can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
