Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
