hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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