Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
