At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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