im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
