talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
