I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
