Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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