Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
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