I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
