Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
If I die, sorry about rent.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
