what if every blade of grass was a penis?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
