Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He kissed a someone with a penis
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
