Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
