Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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