I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
