I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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