so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
