I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
