Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
