you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
