My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
