i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
