Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I will pee on everything he values.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
