I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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