Can Purell be used as lube?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
