sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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