Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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