Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
My balls are so social today.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
