and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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