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I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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