whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
