just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
