I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
