i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize