Ketchup is God's man juice
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
