no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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